Safety Rules In BDSM

If you thought about making your sex life more interesting by trying BDSM, you should first get to know some basic safety rules in BDSM, so your experience can be both enjoyable and safe. It’s true the point is to feel the adrenalin, but seriously hurting yourself while fucking is not so hot.

While BDSM is very exciting, it also brings some risks with it. For the best experience, do your research. There are many websites, books (like BDSM: A Guide for Explorers of Extreme Eroticism by Ayzard), and even online classes about BDSM. Look through as many of them as you need to feel confident about the actions you are going to do. Also, you should keep in mind these elementary rules of BDSM if you want and your partner(s) to have a blast.

1. Communicate about safety rules in BDSM

Before you and your partner enroll in BDSM play, you need to talk it through. Don’t skip this part because you’re horny and want to hurry up and get nasty. Talking will not ruin the mood, as many people think. On the contrary, it will only make BDSM sex better. Be completely open and honest. Ask yourselves if you are ready for that experience, talk about what you want to try and what is off-limits. For every suggestion, think about if that is something you would let your partner do to you or if you would do that to your partner. BDSM can make you scream with pleasure like never before, but only when both parties are on the same page.

2. Build the trust

Whether you are in a long-term relationship, or it’s just a hook-up, you need to establish trust with your partner if you are going to try BDSM. The submissive one needs to fully trust that the dominant one will not actually harm them while they enjoy the play. Another important thing is consent. Even when partners are involved in “resistance” scenarios, they do it based on mutual agreement. So, both partners need to remember not to push further than they’ve agreed to.

3. Safewords

Things tend to get rough in BDSM, so agreeing on a safeword is necessary. Because BDSM often includes “resistance” scenarios, a simple “no” will not suffice, as it can be a part of the kinky roleplay. Therefore, you need to choose a word you wouldn’t normally shout during sex, like “apple” or “tiger” for example. The color system can also be useful. Here, “green” would mean “go for it”, “yellow” would be “continue, but carefully”, while “red” means “stop”.

4. Establish boundaries

If there is something you or your partner are not comfortable with, you need to say it loud and clear before anything starts. Knowing yours and your partner’s limits will stop both of you from doing something that will ruin the experience for the other one. What is also crucial is respecting the boundaries that are set. Disregarding those boundaries would only shatter the trust that is essential for BDSM.

5. Safety rules in BDSM for using your toys

There are many props that you can use in BDSM, like ropes, handcuffs, whips, paddles, gags, binders, vibrators,  violet wands, even candle wax. You can use them to level up your BDSM play by creating many hot and thrilling scenarios. Using toys like this inappropriately can be harmful, so you should better check out the instructions. For example, violet wands are dangerous for people who have a pacemaker or a hearing aid. This goes not only for the person the wand is used on but for the person wielding the wand because they often shock themselves. Tying the ropes too tight can also be dangerous, as it stops the blood circulation and can lead to nerve damage.

6. Know your body

The point of BDSM is to feel a little bit of pain, not to end up in a hospital. You need to be aware of what parts of your body are more sensitive or prone to skin and tissue damage. Knowing the partner’s level of pain tolerance is more important for the dominant person because they usually do all the hurting. So,  it’s always better to start with something less hurtful, and slowly increase the intensity based on the submissive’s reaction. For example, start with light slapping or spanking a particular body part, like face, pussy, balls, or whatever turns you on. The more aroused the body is, the more pain it can take. So, after these initial actions, you can move to something more rough, like whipping.

7. Understand the risk of disregarding safety rules in BDSM

Although the risk is thrilling, you need to be aware that things can go wrong sometimes. Some tools can cause serious harm if you use them incorrectly, like violet wands, ropes, or whips. Many people forget there are also emotional risks. The submissive one needs to understand that the dominant one will often put them in a humiliating or hurtful position and they need to be okay with it. And the dominant one needs to be prepared to do such a thing to their partner. If, in any case, one or both partners are not mentally prepared for an experience like this, BDSM can be unpleasant or even create traumas.

8. No drugs nor alcohol

This is one of the most important of all the safety rules in BDSM. Alcohol and drugs are a big no in BDSM. They dull your senses and make your reflexes slower. If a dominant whips their partner under influence, they won’t be able to aim and can risk hitting body parts they didn’t intend to. Plus, slower reflexes will make it harder to notice if there’s a problem. No matter how much you believe being high or drunk will increase your pleasure, it’s actually quite opposite.

9. Go slow, be patient, and follow safety rules for BDSM

Remember that your partner may have less experience in BDSM than you and don’t expect them to immediately be open for every fetish you want. Or, if you are the less experienced one, don’t force yourself. Even if you are excited to try BDSM, you might need more time to get turned on and be comfortable with the act you want. Be patient with yourself and choose the tempo you are comfortable with. In any case, it is best to start with something light, and slowly progress to more advanced play.

10. Be kind to your partner’s needs

What happens during the BDSM scene should not affect the relationship negatively. That means the partners need to have the same respect and care for each other in BDSM the same way they do in other aspects of the relationship, no matter how rough they play. Domination does not mean disregarding the submissive’s needs. Dominants need to be especially aware of the reactions of their partners, so they can adjust the roll play to suit both of them.

11. Prepare for emergencies

Things can get nasty when playing rough, and not always in a good way. Knowing the things can go south is more important than most people think. That doesn’t mean something bad will necessarily happen, nor that you should be afraid. It simply means you should be prepared. Keep a cellphone where you can reach it even when tied up, and, if you play really rough, a first aid kit should also be near. Always have a copy of the handcuff’s key, and keep scissors around if you can’t untie the ropes. Also, never leave a bounded person alone.

12. Practice aftercare

One very important thing in BDSM is what to do after. For a healthy relationship (long-term or not), it is crucial to have the appropriate aftercare. That means making sure your partner is okay both physically and emotionally. If the play was exhausting, both of you need to hydrate and maybe eat something. All the bruises and injuries need to be treated with lotions or antibiotics if necessary. Talk about the experience, what felt good and what wasn’t so great. That is important because next time you will know what to change. Also, comforting your partner is beneficial for both the submissive and dominant.

BDSM can bring you and your partner a lot of new sensations. To make sure they’re all positive ones, you need to practice BDSM with special care and follow these safety rules in BDSM, whether you’re dominant or submissive one.

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